Discuss amongst yourselves

So, here's the deal...
Ryan and I were lying on the couch the other day watching t.v. and talking. Anyone who has tried to cuddle on the couch with their boy/girl-friend knows the complexity that can occur with trying to fit two on the couch, escpecially laying down. There are a few positions that I find work best:
#1: Lying head-to-toe with one of the each person's legs lying on the other person.
#2: Both on their side facing the same direction with boy in the back of the couch with arm under girl's pillow. Girl's back pressed up against boy's front with arm also under own head.
#3: Boy on his back with girl wedged over his side next to back of couch with arm and leg draped over him.


That day, we were in position #3 on the couch (everybody get your mind out of the gutter!) when I decided I wanted something to drink and attempted to un-wedge myself from between Ryan and the couch. I gingerly tried to crawl over him when my foot GRAZES Ryan's...area. You would have thought I had run from across the room, jumped up, and stomped on them! He rolled off the couch and cupped himself for about two minutes breathing like he was in lamaze class. I apologized to him but half-heartedly because I knew I didn't hit them very hard at all. I was trying to be careful not to knee him or kick him anywhere!

So in the millisecond it takes me to realize how not hard I touched his...area, I begin to think, "It can't hurt that badly! I barely touched him!" Then it hits me, "This is a conspiracy! Men everywhere are in this together. How can barely touching him create that much agony?! I call bullsh*t!" So, of course, me being the caring girlfriend that I am, I tell him, "This is bullsh*t. Come on! It can't hurt that bad!"
And then he gives me the typical guy answer, "You have no idea." Maybe not. I don't see how men can walk with those things, much less what they would feel like!
I said, "All right. Since I can't refute that, explain it to me."

Now, (according to him) when they are hit hard it is the pain that makes men practically paralyzed and then the nausea comes on like a tidal wave. This I can agree with since anything hit hard enough can cause pain and nausea. I tell him about the time I pinched the tip of my finger under a 100lbs plate in the weight room and how everyone said I went white in my face (which is usually beet-red when I workout) and I had to sit down because of how painful it was, then I became extremely nauseated. "So how is that any different?" I asked. "I wasn't moaning or crying out in agony. I would think the finger tips have just as many nerve endings as your genitalia. And besides I didnt kick you! So why did it hurt so bad now?"
Well, this got Ryan thinking and the only answer he could come up with was, "Well your fingers aren't the same thing. They can't be. You just don't understand. And it's not the actual pain from what just happened. A lot of times it's the fear of what pain could suddenly appear, or the sudden panic of the nausea maybe hitting you like a ton of bricks."
"A-ha!!!" I exclaimed. "So you are saying that a lot of the time men are faking it when they aren't kicked or crushed but only grazed on accident!! I knew there was a conspiracy! You should try getting elbowed in the boob!!! That freakin' hurts! But you don't see women rolling on the floor in agony when it happens. Therefore, we win!!"

All I got in response to that was, "You are so weird."
I can't argue that.