things i learned in italy

So, Ryan and I went to Sicily for our honeymoon. I know...I know. The first question we get asked is usually, "Was it AMAAAAZZZING?!" I pretty much think that is a given, don't you? It was amazing and we had a really great time. We tried to assimilate into the Sicillian culture as much as two obviously American Americans could. Before we left, Ryan purchased some Italian phrase books and a dictionary. The plane ride there consisted of sleeping, watching movies, and skimming the phrase books.

I had to get the obligatory search for any and all cuss words and phrases out of the way first. I would sit in my seat, read, then pronounce in a moderately quiet voice, and being the mature 3rd grader that I am would giggle into the book so that I wouldn't look crazy. From the minute we arrived at Capotaormina Hotel in Sicily, we were amazed. It was an awesome place! The pool...fantastic. The food...fantastic. We liked it so much that we didn't leave the hotel for the first two days! That and we were really jet lagged.

Here are some of the things I learned from our time in Sicily:

1. It is possible to eat your weight in food!
Sicillian (pronounced Se-shee-yan) food is not as much pasta as it is seafood. And it is some of the best seafood you will ever eat. Their pizza is actually really light on the cheese and there are no pepperoni. Mostly ham and anchovies.

2. Drag queens wear Dolce & Gabanna.
We saw a drag queen twice in two days and he/she was the best dressed drag queen I've ever seen. Ryan didn't know what to do but look at him/her and say "Ewwww!" everytime. He only did this after I pointed out that she was actually a he.

3. Europeans are smarter than me.
Maybe it was because we were in a tourist-y town but it seemed that everyone spoke at least two languages. We went on a tour of Palermo and the guide and courier would say everything three times: in Italian, German, and then English. They would change over into these languages with ease and without any type of interruption. I was completely jealous!

4. I am very American.
Needless to say, I do not look in any way like a Sicillian. Ryan actually had a couple people start speaking to him in Italian, thinking that he was. He would just look at them with slightly bigger eyes and say back to them frankly, "What?"
Our guide in Palermo, who was actually very nice, told Ryan he could pass as Sicillian and then promptly told me I couldn't. No shit Sherlock.

5. Italians really are pretty laid back.
We were warned prior to our trip to not be surprised if you go to a shop between 12 and 4pm and find it closed. Apparently they take really long lunches. these Italians know how to do it, man. They know that work is just a job and not something that runs your entire life. We Americans could definitely learn something from them.
One thing that took some getting used to is how the waiters and waitresses act. Over here they come by every 2.375 seconds, refilling your drink, asking if you are okay, refilling your drink again, asking if everything tastes all right, refilling your drink yet again, and asking if they can get you anything else like dessert. Of course you are ready to have your bladder explode from all that you drank because every time it was refilled, you immediately drained it....stupid American. Italian servers will bring you a drink then come back about 10 minutes later to take your order, bring your food after another 10 minutes, not refill your drink, and then only bring you the check when you ask for it after waving them down from across the room. It's nothing personal and it's not neglect. Italians seem to enjoy not just the food but the experience of the dinner. They let you talk with your dinner companion without being interrupted every 2.375 seconds to answer the same questions. It was actually really nice.

6. You are insane if you try to drive among them!
Italian road rules seem to be...only the strong (and crazy) survive. They make their own lanes. I never saw a stop light and only two stop signs. They can wedge two cars down a narrow road that could be a one way road to us Yanks, going opposite directions! With other cars parked on the sides!
Ryan and I toyed with the dea of renting a car and driving around the countryside one day, but it took us only 2 minutes into our taxi ride to the hotel when we got there to forget that idea. Ryan is a much more aggressive driver than I, and he was staring wide eyed at the spectacle of vespos careening through speeding, veering cars that do not slow for pedestrians, who took their own lives in their hands when they cross a street. He looked at me and said,"IIIIII don't think we'll be renting a car here."
"Yeah, probably not." I said as our taxi passed another car by using the oncoming traffic lane, with traffic coming our way....sweet.

I'll post pictures when I can. Later!